Summary: Baekhyun's ready to become a wolf for Jongdae. (set in the Tell Me I'm A Bad Man au)
It's a full moon, light shining enough through the curtains to make Baekhyun feel on edge, the hair on the back of his neck standing at attention and his heart unable to calm. It's a steady but firm thud against his ribs, never faltering even when he imagines a howl in the distance, beckoning him closer.
This life is so new to him, yet more of a comfort than his old one had ever been. He’s accepted here, not judged for being who he is and not pushed into taking the bite before he’s ready. Jongdae has made it perfectly clear that while everything in him desires to mark Baekhyun and claim him as his mate - and subsequently turn him into a werewolf - he won’t do it until Baekhyun gives his express permission. At first it was a boundary Baekhyun didn’t ever think he could cross. He’d watched as Jongdae changed into a beast before him, body twisting and cracking and morphing as the bile rose in the back of his throat. But the worst was the way Jongdae fell, the wolf motionless before heaving out deep breaths as Baekhyun carefully cradled his head.
When Jongdae stirred, lifting onto his paws, Baekhyun expected a beast, something untamed and wild. What he got was Jongdae’s eyes staring into his and a whimper as a large paw gently swept over his thigh. He may be in a different form, but it was still Jongdae - the same guy who would saunter into the record shop and tease Baekhyun about his pants being too tight to even have a dick or almost nervously trying to ask him out without ever managing to do so.
Baekhyun had fallen for Jongdae before he knew what he was, and now that he sees him for who and what he is, he still cares. Attraction as strong as what he feels isn’t so easily dismissed because of a little (or a lot of) fear. Even so, he’s still clinging to that ledge - unsure if he wants to finally release his grip on his old life.
Sighing, Baekhyun shuffles off to bed and settles in without Jongdae beside him. Their cabin is small, situated close enough to the others so there’s always someone within calling distance. But tonight it’s just Baekhyun and the bed because it’s a full moon and the rest of the pack are locked away in an abandoned bomb shelter. He tries not to think of Jongdae down there without him, of knowing how much stronger Jongdae’s need for Baekhyun is when he’s a wolf.
Baekhyun tries not to think at all, but sleep is a stranger on full moon nights and this one will be no different.
Jongdae always seems more rugged, rough around the edges and drained when he comes home after a night locked away. Baekhyun collects him at the door, lets Jongdae fall into his arms and knock them to the floor where they lay with Jongdae’s head tucked under Baekhyun’s and their legs twisted together. It’s easy to lose time this way, scratch through Jongdae’s hair and listen to his breathing as it slows to normal before Jongdae falls asleep.
Baekhyun counts the logs that make up the ceiling, the planks that span the wall and the number of times Jongdae’s heart beats. His hold on Jongdae tightens and he realizes with a stunning clarity that he can’t give this up. Not ever. He always wants to be the one Jongdae comes to, the one Jongdae needs. And he wants to be with him through the night no matter how much of the moon is visible in the sky.
Baekhyun’s tired of the boundaries - the lines he can’t cross because being close brings Jongdae’s wolf to the surface. He’ll never forget the first time they kissed or the way Jongdae pushed him down onto the creaky mattress. They’d gotten carried away with hands everywhere, lips touching any exposed skin they could find. And just when Baekhyun thought he’d be able to get what he wanted, Jongdae looked up in panic, eyes a bright red and teeth sharper than they should be before he ran from the room and into the woods.
They tiptoe around each other, tension thick in the air and it’s always a little more dangerous when one of them snaps. Kisses are heated and more than once Baekhyun’s seen finger shaped bruises on his sides and hips when he showers. Jongdae usually runs off and doesn’t come home for hours, waiting to calm down.
And then it starts all over again. It’s been months and Baekhyun can’t do this anymore.
Baekhyun can feel Jongdae’s eyes on him and it makes him jittery, hands shaking as he reaches into the cabinet for a mug. There’s liquor in a different cabinet and Baekhyun is tempted to go for it, but the water for tea is already heating on the stove and while the alcohol might make this easier, he wants to remember.
“You don’t seem very sure,” Jongdae finally says, breaking the silence. The cup nearly slips out of Baekhyun’s fingers as he jumps, startled at the sudden noise. His heart is running rampant and he’s already sweating, but if there’s one thing he’s absolutely sure about, it’s this.
Carefully, he walks as casually as he can to the stove, leaning against the counter beside it as he waits for the water to boil. “I’m sure, but that doesn’t mean I’m not scared,” he admits, eyes landing on Jongdae who’s perched on the opposite wall, arms folded and face scrunched in worry.
“We don’t need to rush into this,” Jongdae begins. “We can wait until you’re more comfortable -”
Baekhyun doesn’t mean to bark out a laugh, but it slips out in his nervousness. “I’ll never be comfortable with how much it’s going to hurt. But it’s something I’m willing to go through for you.”
“I don’t want this to be the sword that hangs over your head,” Jongdae says softly, now staring at the floor instead of his boyfriend. “I don’t want you to do this and hate me for it. I can’t watch you pull away from me, see you die because you can’t stand me or what I’ve made you.”
“Jongdae,” Baekhyun calls, walking to him when Jongdae doesn’t look at him. He cups his face, forces Jongdae to look at him. “I could never hate you or what you are because it’s a part of you and I love you.”
“This is for life, Baekhyun. There’s no going back.”
“I don’t want to be away from you. And I can’t stand not having all of you. This is what we need.”
Jongdae unfolds himself and stands upright, pulling Baekhyun into a hug and trapping his arms so he can’t move, his hands still on Jongdae’s cheeks. He smells like trees and honey and everything Baekhyun’s ever dreamed about. It’s not difficult to use his hold to guide Jongdae down for a kiss, just a simple one that Jongdae sighs into. “Jongdae, please,” Baekhyun whispers.
There’s little hesitation after that, Jongdae’s walls broken down with one single utterance of his name. Baekhyun relishes the loss of control, planned out touches abandoned in favor of instinct and their mouths sealed together in a kiss that makes him dizzy. His feet are off the floor, kitchen left behind as Jongdae effortlessly carries him to the bedroom.
It's reminiscent of the first time they did this, only now Baekhyun knows exactly what he's getting into and there won't be any running away. Jongdae is over him, lips on skin and nails too sharp to be human.
"I liked those pants," Baekhyun breathes into Jongdae's mouth after the shredded remains of his jeans are kicked away.
Jongdae appears unworried, stealing another kiss, his eyes red and wild. "I'll get you another pair."
His voice is deep, gravelly and Baekhyun moans, head falling back when teeth scrape over his neck. He wonders if Jongdae is going to bite him, mark him in a spot so easy to see, but he never pierces the skin. Baekhyun winds fingers in Jongdae's hair, pulls him up to lick into his mouth, slide his tongue over the sharp edges of his canines until Jongdae is whimpering. His heart is pounding and his head is swimming and all he can feel is Jongdae on him, but he needs more.
Baekhyun doesn't rip Jongdae's clothes, but he gets them off with a speed he didn't know he was capable of, his moment of triumph cut off when Jongdae descends on him again. With a growl, Jongdae pushes Baekhyun further into the mattress, their hips slotting and rocking. Baekhyun is so hard, cock throbbing and rubbing against the soft, taut skin of Jongdae's stomach.
"It's going to hurt," Jongdae tells him, pulling up enough to stare down at Baekhyun. "Are you sure?"
"Please," Baekhyun begs.
Jongdae nods and takes Baekhyun's hand, linking their fingers. "Hold on to me. I'll take care of you."
Desire is laced with fear now as Jongdae kisses down Baekhyun's chest, his breathing heavier as his pulse quickens. He's trembling and he can't stop it, clenching his jaw in an effort to stop his teeth from chattering. Jongdae pinches his side and looks up questioningly, the red in his eyes fading into more of a brown as he begins to draw away.
"Don't stop," he pleads. Just because he's afraid doesn't mean he doesn't want it.
Jongdae hesitates, but a flood of red pools in his eyes and Baekhyun gets a flash of his teeth before he moves down. His thighs are pried apart, Jongdae sucking on the sensitive skin of the right one, up near his groin. The only warning Baekhyun gets is Jongdae squeezing his hand before he bites down.
Baekhyun’s back arches clear off the bed at the sudden strike of pain, a loud cry escaping despite his efforts to try and hold it all in. It burns, almost as if Jongdae is scalding him everywhere he touches. Fiery tendrils flare from the wound, racing through his bones and muscles and tendons, searing a path through him. For a moment, Baekhyun fears his heart is going to slam through his chest, beat through his ribs in a desperate race to escape the fire.
Baekhyun stops breathing, body dropping lifeless onto the mattress as Jongdae crawls up, a hand on the side of his neck to watch as a tear falls from Baekhyun’s eye to drip onto the comforter.
It seems an age before Baekhyun wills his throat to work, dragging in a harsh, stinging gulp of air that tastes off and doesn’t seem to fill his lungs enough. He resorts to panting to calm his breathing and Jongdae looks proud, brushing strands of hair off Baekhyun’s forehead. Moving is a no go, his body simply unable to respond. His limbs feel like deadweight and Baekhyun whimpers at how helpless he feels.
“It’ll pass,” Jongdae assures him. Jongdae’s hands are everywhere, soothing over his arms and torso before dipping lower. He glances at Baekhyun from between his legs, fingers trailing in circles around his dick. “And this will help.”
Baekhyun wants to ask what, but the drag of Jongdae’s palm over his cock cuts off his inquiry and he gasps, eyes rolling back. He’d lost a lot of his arousal from earlier when the pain hit, but he’s still worked up enough that it takes so little for Jongdae to have him hard and wishing he could thrust up into his hand. Baekhyun finds it a little unfair that he can’t fully participate, but Jongdae is doing a good job at distracting him.
The weight pressing on him seems to let up a little with each stroke, Baekhyun moaning because Jongdae’s hand is now slick with lube. The steady thrum of pleasure pulses straight through his cock and into the rest of his body, hips now rocking along and Baekhyun thinks he might just shake into little pieces at the intensity of the glide of Jongdae’s cock against his own. They’re both fisted in Jongdae’s hand and he leans over Baekhyun, eyes a beautiful ruby. Baekhyun stares into them, gets drawn in as his body loosens, turns pliant and hot and he doesn’t realize he’s regained mobility until he’s digging sharp nails into Jongdae’s arms.
Jongdae growls and Baekhyun leans up to nip at his mouth before they kiss. It’s sloppy, Baekhyun hooking an elbow around Jongdae’s neck to pull him in closer, always closer. Baekhyun manages to rasp out half of Jongdae’s name before he comes, the shuddering waves wracking over his already tired body as he falls, jerking his hips to ride it out. His ears are ringing, or maybe it’s the forgotten kettle in the kitchen, water ready for his tea.
His hand slips, fingers trailing over the rise of Jongdae’s cheek and down to his mouth. Baekhyun watches, fascinated as Jongdae takes his pointer finger between his teeth and bites just hard enough to pierce the skin when he comes over Baekhyun’s stomach. An instant wave of heat flows out from the wound, easing up only when Jongdae licks it clean. It leaves Baekhyun seeing spots in his vision, peripheral going dark for a moment.
He thinks, perhaps, he might have passed out for a minute because the next time he blinks, Jongdae is wiping the mess off his stomach with a damp cloth, stopping only to smile up at Baekhyun. His eyes are back to normal.
Baekhyun is exhausted, head lolling to the side and vision blurring as he watches Jongdae’s retreating figure. The echo of someone knocking on the door rings in his ears and he grimaces. There are voices, some of them raised and Baekhyun pushes his face into the pillows, drawing the blanket over himself.
Even with heavy eyelids, Baekhyun watches Jongdae as he walks back in, reaching out for him without registering Joonmyun behind him. Jongdae’s hand fits in his and he pulls him in weakly, earning a low rumble of a chuckle and a fond smile from Joonmyun.
“Welcome to the pack.”